Got the better of my judgment

I have to struggle to remember what’s happened these past few weeks. I’ve been in kind of a holding pattern of non-specific busywork that I’ll probably remain in until summer or so, and it just has me feeling tired most of the time without being able to attribute it to any single overriding factor.

Which isn’t to say there hasn’t been stuff happening. I’ve been keeping up with improv and had a pretty full social calendar. There are far too many shows with friends in them that I need to go see in what remains of this month. I’ll try to pull out some highlights from what’s been happening.

I had my biometrics appointment for my green card application a couple of weeks back. This felt like a real milestone for me, although in truth it happens in parallel to the application process and really isn’t indicative of anything other than that I’m still in the queue (two separate queues, to be precise). The technology they use to read your fingerprints is very cool; you can watch on the screen as he rolls your finger on the device and it identifies the patterns in your skin. I desperately want this six-year ordeal to be completed, and the closer I get to making out the light at the end of the tunnel the more I ache and burn for it, but all I can do is wait while the bureaucracy churns its way through the backlog of people ahead of me.

I have, perhaps, dodged a bullet earlier in the month when I was invited by a friend to audition for a show he was directing with his new theatre company. I made it clear that there were an absurd number of conflicts with performances next month and rehearsals I have for Spelling Bee, but he asked me to come out regardless and they would sort out conflicts with the Spelling Bee crew if I were to be cast. So I went out, and for a number of reasons that got the better of my judgment: their theatre company interests me and I am interested in the work they are doing and where their future lies, I don’t do much non-musical theatre these days and it’s always good to get sucked into a regular play, and in the end I simply like the people involved, and I like what they are capable of. Another thing surprised me when I did the callback: I actually like the play as well. It’s The Firebugs, an adaptation of a German play about a family that lets a couple of bold but transparent arsonists into their home, and because of politeness keeps failing to kick them out even though they are clearly planning to burn their house down. The play is unapologetic about its societal metaphor and I am normally hesitant to get involved in a show that is so heavy-handed with its politics, but as we were reading in the callbacks I became… well, I think it’s too much to say enchanted with it, but I quickly realized that I think it’s a good script with a lot of potential to captivate an audience, and not just a soapbox for the playwright.

So when I was offered an extremely prominent role by the director I found myself unwilling to turn it down, even though I knew it would wreak havoc with my life that persisted even after the show closed, as I would be both under-rehearsed and over-exhausted when Spelling Bee opened. It wasn’t until the day before the first rehearsal that the director called me and we discussed the situation, and he (with much empathy) told me he’d thought twice and changed his mind about casting me, as it was just inviting chaos into the production and he had to acknowledge the ripple effect it would have on the rest of the cast, the show and himself in addition to me. I concurred and while we both regretted that I wouldn’t be in the show I don’t think either of us suspected for a moment that he had made the wrong decision.

Again in nerdier news, most of the parts for my new home theatre computer have arrived and I had both fun and frustration assembling them. Some of them needed to be returned or replaced. Unfortunately, the key component that lets it receive multiple TV signals is backordered even worse than I thought, and probably won’t be arriving for months yet. So in the meantime I have a very cool-looking device that can do just about anything except for watch TV, the main purpose it is intended to serve.

This weekend is the Seattle Festival of Improv, and once again I am mostly a no-show for it, although I will be taking a couple of workshops this afternoon that I decided to jump on at the last minute. Hopefully that much will keep me from feeling like a complete burn-out.

Rehearsals for Spelling Bee start at the end of this month, and I think there is a chance that they will actually increase my energy, even though I’m sure I will be tired from it.

That’s about all there is to report. I spend the rest of my time treading water and staying awake, patiently waiting for more interesting times and for the ennui to subside.

Dan.

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